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Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet [31 Mar 2007|02:14pm]
I need to read five more cases for media law by 9 o'clock on Monday. And it's going to be like this week after week after week. And there will be projects for magazine editing, and projects for spanish, and projects for art, and it will take entirely too much of my time and sanity only for 17 credit hours.


SO INCREDIBLY NOT ON!!!!
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i wrote a poem the other day [24 Mar 2007|12:01am]
and by my definitions, it is terrible. it is, however, unlike most things i write, & so i shall include it.

that said, this week has been a week of finally watching russell crowe movies that i hadn't seen before -- namely, the gladiator and a beautiful mind. i know! how i had gotten by for so long without seeing them is a wonder even to me, particularly considering i enjoyed both immensely.

also saw babel and memoirs of a geisha this week. babel -- i don't know, it was good, but hard to get into. i really enjoyed the costuming in memoirs, but then how can you not? i think it added a lot to the film to then be able to watch the featurettes. and tomorrow i will finally see the departed because my parents will be off doing the business dinner thing.

ah, watching movies like a beautiful mind and other such things that revolve around genius always make me so regretful and sad. i remember when i did my first serious research into giftedness and genius when i was in 9th grade -- and realized i would never be a prodigy, never be a genius. it was heartbreaking.

positively the most egotistical thing in the world to think, but it's true. that was also around the age that i considered the possibility of other things not necessarily being real but only existing in the mind, that perhaps i could be the only real thing in the world, if the world actually existed.

/end tangent

so it got me to thinking again about how i dream of actually achieving something, which the way things are going now is not apt to happen any time soon. i'm not going to change the world through any literary feat. sore and painful truth.

& now on to the poem.

LascauxCollapse )
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SQUEE GOOD GRADES!!!111ONE [21 Mar 2007|05:17pm]
I was rather worried about how my grades would shape up this quarter. Architectural Drawing grading was rather ridiculous throughout ("fuzzy lines" meh). Art 110 I got screwed over on pretty early in because of the exams and no other grades particularly. I had no idea what was going on grade-wise in Info Gathering. Color Theory an A was pretty much a given.

Well, I guess my Art 110 prof included an attendance grade, and I must have done excellent on the final, because I got an A. Also got an A in Info Gathering. And an A in Color Theory. I was running an 87% for a long time in Architectural Drawing, which was just not enough to get a B+, but the isometric stuff & probably the final pulled me up to a B+. So I'm on the Dean's list again and have a cumulative 3.809. Hurrah!


/end nerdiness
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if i'm dead when you wake up, don't be scared [20 Mar 2007|03:09pm]
i am now down three vials of blood because they're testing me for pretty much everything under the sun due to my headaches & fatigue-ness.

however, i love my doctor's pseudo medical negligence. she gives me a year's worth of bc prescription nonsense without the pelvic exam. absotootly wonderful.
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i got my hair cut [19 Mar 2007|04:37pm]
For anyone who has seen my hair in the past month or so, this is ridiculous. It is, at longest, .5 inches. However, the hair cutter trimmed up the spots around my ears, thinned out the back, etc. All I have to say is I'm glad I wasn't the one who paid for it.

Spring break is going not so swimmingly, which is to say that I'm not fond of Findlay. I figure that the reasons to come home are: see the rat, take baths & eat real food. And see the parents, but that doesn't require coming home to do. Though I suppose the eating of real food doesn't either ... whatever.

Anyways, I'm looking forward to going back. I'm taking a music theory, spanish, 3D art, magazine editing, & a tutorial in media law. Mom is freaking out about the fact that it's 20 hours, which doesn't make too much sense since at the beginning of this past quarter I was taking 20 hours (except that the spanish class was lame so I dropped it). Sometimes Mom frustrates me.

I'm desperately trying to figure out what I can do this summer to get myself out of the house, lest I weep, gnash my teeth, and rend my clothes. Because I like my clothes, so that just won't do. I may look into going to Mexico for a few weeks this summer, after all. You know, have a nice five week break from the overwhelming stiflingness that is Findlay.

Bwah. I'm so eloquent. ...
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new poem [10 Mar 2007|01:32am]
Neptune Rising


In the shadow of your eyes and flushed
morning cheeks there is a blue
horizon like a spring afternoon
fresh with breeze and warm with a sun
that does not know your name.
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Lack of insight into the sociological and psychological effects and aspects of the Irish pub [07 Mar 2007|03:45pm]
When I was going into this massive research project for my Information Gathering class, I thought that since Irish pubs are common in more than just Ireland and since everyone seems to like them, there would probably be lots of research as to the sociology of a pub, and how it affects the community and its customers psychologically. As yet, however, I have not been able to find someone who has done such research. Instead, I'm piecing it together in a very layman's sort of way from interviews, documents, and articles. Oh, yes, it's easy enough to find information on the effects of Irish pubs in history, but as to how they affect cultures in modernity? Nothing.
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hyper-reality kicks it [06 Mar 2007|09:02pm]
That is to say, Baudrillard died. Quite the bummer, but thanks to mr_quackenbush for blowing my mind a couple of years with a Baudrillard essay. I'm still not quite sure I've wrapped my mind around it.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6425389.stm
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Mas Icons [05 Mar 2007|12:53pm]



See MoreCollapse )
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africa icons [10 Feb 2007|03:40pm]
exemplary:


remember africaCollapse )
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Crazy Dream [09 Feb 2007|02:05pm]
To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. This may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.

To dream that you are pregnant with the baby dying inside of you suggests that a project you had put a lot of effort into is falling apart and slowly deteriorating. Nothing works out the way you want it to.



Last night, I dreamt that I was nine months pregnant, and due pretty much any time. Nobody else was really paying any attention to the fact, though, beyond wondering whether it would be a boy or a girl. I didn't even have any name ideas. I hadn't gone into labor or had any contractions or anything before my water broke, which was during the evening. No baby was forthcoming. I went to bed in my dream, woke up, and the baby still hadn't, well, come out. Which logically means it would be in the process of dying, yes? Except it didn't seem like a big deal -- I was more annoyed about the inconvenience than anything.

But yeah, never had a dream like that before. Pretty weird.
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Mars in Retrograde [02 Feb 2007|07:39am]
Mars in Retrograde


Our feet trace curliques as we spin
across a dance floor. A haphazard rotating
of shattered light from the disco ball
is the only remnant of glory in the dark.
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I got my hair chopped off! [28 Jan 2007|12:45pm]
http://ohio.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2099869&l=8c929&id=12328092
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it's snowing [21 Jan 2007|12:02pm]
woke up with a naked nathan in my bed and we looked out my window and it was snowing! and it still is. pretty constant, heavy fall, too. there may have to be a snow angel making fest later today.

classes are going well, but it's frustrating that we really haven't started doing anything. i suppose we have in color theory, but we're still working with paint, not the color aid. architectural drawing we haven't actually started doing any real floor plans yet. info gathering, well, we have to make an annotated bibliography and we don't even have topics yet. and art 110? a waste of time. i think the professor was striving to be a john keating (a la dead poets society) but he is failing miserably and instead everybody just thinks he's annoying. that and it seems like he tries to make issues that don't deal with civil rights somehow deal with civil rights. which, i mean, i'm all for civil rights and stuff, but honestly, can we maybe focus on the topic at hand?

basically, things are going swimmingly. i may even write some poetry later.
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Tristan + Isolde [26 Dec 2006|05:35pm]
I'm not sure that such a sad movie should be allowed to exist. If Queen Elizabeth in Shakespeare in Love thought that Romeo & Juliet portrayed love accurately, I think perhaps she was incorrect. While in Romeo & Juliet the two had tunnel-vision towards each other, in Tristan + Isolde the tug of war between love and loyalty is just so ... true. I love it.
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Christmas in Review [26 Dec 2006|12:19am]
While my guest copy of WoW is downloading ...



Christmas this year was a bit of a letdown, to say the least. While I got the artificial tree earlier in the month, I had wanted a real tree, as well, so last weekend I had stripped the artificial tree of the family ornaments & moved it into the living room, and put up the real tree. Didn't have time to decorate either of them, though. In fact, because I worked in essence full time this past week, I didn't have time to finish decorating the trees until the 23rd.

It was fun to have Nathan come up, though, and I think his present may well have been the most exciting one, as he got me a copy of Charles Simic's The Noiseless Entourage, which I wanted like my life depended on it. Well, perhaps not that badly. But I did indeed want it.

Also ended up with a belated birthday present from Julie (she never had a chance to mail it earlier) in the form of a brand spanking new copy of Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita, which I adore. I <3 that book.

As far as Christmas day presents, well ... Mom liked her nerf gun. A lot. I fear I shall never have a moment's peace. We've already lost five of her darts, though. Lol.

I think my stocking was perhaps the best part of my gifts. Of course, I haven't had a stocking in forever, so that was exciting to begin with. I got some ornaments that I had pointed out to mom (a package of snowmen ... i'm kind of obsessed with them this time of year), a wee sheep magnet (from ireland), stain remover (no dry cleaning for me!), chocolate covered dried cherries (omg yum), $150, a stuffed snowman, and probably some other stuff I'm forgetting. Not gonna lie, I was kind of hoping for chapstick. Oh well. :)

Christmas presents themselves, I got some dollhouse stuff, which was excellent. Some of the stuff I knew about, some of it I didn't. I officially have a miniature lute. Well, it's half lute, half guitar. Funky little thing. All from Eton, of course.

Also got a paper cutter, which I had wanted. Because I am just that weird. I'm so used to having one that not having one at school seemed strange. Can't even remember now what I wanted it for. :)

I got pajamas, which, meh, whatever. But they're comfortable, and I guess that's what counts. My sister and I got lots of double presents which were really geared more towards her than me -- a cake container and gravy thickener container (okay, you may have to be a gumerman to understand that), a book on how to be a grownup (probably an amusing read ... though I'd rather have had a copy of the harry potter books i don't own), a large platter to paint at painter's pottery.

My other exciting gift was tools. I now have a cordless drill and a variety of wrenches. Dad even made sure that there was a 7/16 wrench in there that I can use for coxing purposes. :)

Oh yes, and, as I had wanted, my sister got me a shirt from Aspen High School. It's amusing, though hard to describe how so. I guess ... think of some random school-esque shirt from abercrombie or something, and how there's always a number somehow on it? yeah, definitely has the elevation (8047 feet) of the school.

I thought it was itneresting.

Overshadowing Christmas was the fact that I felt out of it. My stomach has just been being weird lately. I used to get weird morning anxiety sickness stuff, wherein I felt like if I didn't eat immediately, I would throw up. That sort of went away a few years ago, though then I had ulcer problems. Now I just have this weird thing that I suddenly feel like I have ulcer issues. And it puts me totally down and out. Very strange.

We had no snow, and heck, you could go outside without a coat, even (if you're feeling properly collegiate). So yeah, boo. Probably no snowboarding for Lisa this year, either, because this is usually when I get to board, but obviously we didn't go up to Michigan, as we have in year's past, which is when Julie and I snowboarded. Furthermore, Julie didn't even bother bringing her board because it's not been getting down to 20 degrees, so they can't even make snow. Meh.



I'm looking forward to going back to school.
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I woke up with a comb-over again today. [18 Dec 2006|11:33pm]
Sylvia is adorable. She's sticking her nose out the bars of her cage at me. I'm worried she's going to get my sickness, though, so I've been keeping her away from my nose so she can't eat it. She had the sneezes the other day, but she did get over that.

Work is eating my soul. I'm working 37.25 hours this week. 1:15-10:15 today, 2-10:15 tomorrow, 1:15-10:15 wednesday, 2-10:15 thursday and friday. Nathan will be coming up Saturday, Julie's getting back in the middle of the night that night.

We moved the artificial tree into the living room, but I haven't had a chance to redecorate it yet. I'm actually still in the midst of putting the colored lights on the real tree. I dislike colored lights. I also dislike putting lights on a real tree because it doesn't have that order to it that a tree where all the branches are in rows has.

Got my period today, which resulted in much happiness. I was seriously beginning to be worried.

I don't understand how my rooms at home are effortlessly more messy than my room at school. It doesn't really make much sense. It's also less difficult to pick up at school. No sense no sense no sense.


Wow. I think I may write the most uninteresting entries in the entire world.


meh.
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Findlay, how I dislike thee. [11 Dec 2006|09:26pm]
I feel that old Findlay-induced wanderlust & anxiety kicking in. I'd finally gotten used to that whole being in Findlay over break thing (which is nice because for the first week it was totally weird), but I'm ready to not be here anymore. Or at least to be out of the house doing something other than working. At least I sleep until 12, so that cuts out some of the boredom, but that just results in late night boredom. Though people are starting to trickle back from finals, which is nice. Someone save me from death by Findlay!
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tuesday afternoon reflections [05 Dec 2006|02:20pm]
just finished the outstretched shadow by mercedes lackey and some guy i hadn't heard of before. it's been a while since i've read a traditional fantasy novel -- high school, anyway. i used to live off of those things. fantasy books pretty much helped create the person i am now, from being wild-minded and intelligent to my bizarre religious ideas. i've got a massive tale of it stewing in my head, but it will take a while to write. suffice it to say that fantasy books were the most important thing that has ever happened to me in my young life.

i was planning on giving my two weeks' notice to elder beerman but i wimped out at the last minute. i am, however, going to write a note that says as of the 22nd i will not be able to work. for one, i most desperately do not want to be working on christmas eve, but i know that i undoubtedly will be. also, julie gets home on the 23rd, and for the most part, i only get to see her once a year (our colorado vacation was an exception).

i am slowly getting better at morrowind. and by getting better i mean that i'm playing it a lot. my first character is on level 8 and has convinced the first ashlander tribe that she's the nerevar. the second one, well, i probably went into it a bit too soon, as she's only level 6 and is in the ancestral tombs right now. probably will get pwned. i should go back to balmora and level up a bit, but now that i'm here i hate to have to go back. i do like her traits better, though ... i would just scrap both of the characters and start over, but i hate having to do all of that starting out stuff.

i turn nineteen on saturday. whoo. who cares. though i will be getting stuff. mom is a bit sad that i won't actually be waking up at home on my birthday (i'll be down in columbus from a get-together of the OU group), but i figure it's better than driving home in the wee hours.

not too much to say other than that. i've got a growing list of to-do stuff, most of which consists of decorating the house for christmas, as that has fallen on my shoulders this year, and working on the dollhouse. all of the wiring is completed & glued down, which is incredibly exciting, and the roofs are glued on. i wish i knew where my camera was, so i could take pictures, but i still haven't unpacked all of the way (that's also on my list of to-do stuff). Hopefully it shall reveal itself pronto.
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Hells yes to good grades: college report card #1 [01 Dec 2006|12:16am]
Guess who made the Dean's list? Also, this is my first time getting a B as a final grade for a class since 8th grade. At least. Maybe earlier. (Hurrah for the struggle for top ten being over). But then, in high school classes were a bit longer, etc.


HTC SEMINAR A
INTRO: RESIDENTIAL DESIGN B+
NEWS WRITING A
JOURNALISM TUTORIAL A
CHORAL UNION A
ADV CONV&COMP I (SPANISH) A-



SQUEE!
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